As a teenager, my mother always made crazy and unreasonable demands of me. Completely unfounded, out of whack suggestions and commands that had absolutely no basis in reality. Absolutely ridiculous.
These were things like turning my clothes right side out before she did laundry, or soaking a pot before she did dishes. Unbelievable. The gall.
But then here I was, seven years later, and as I passed by one of the boy’s rooms with my laundry basket, I reminded him to make his bed.
“No!” he yelled. “I don’t want to! I do all the work around here! You treat me like a servant!”
So after dealing with that Elementary School crisis
mostly by laughing, I started thinking back on all the absurd demands of my childhood. Turns out, they were actually pretty reasonable. These were things like:
- Rinsing out the bathtub after a shower so that the soapy residue didn’t stick around, making it slippery and hard to clean.
- Practicing piano every day before the day of your lesson instead of making excuses right up until the morning of, and then frantically practicing for fifteen minutes in the hopes that your piano teacher won’t notice your incompetence.
- Cleaning up as you go. Hey, did you know that could save you time?
- Turning those clothes right side out before wash. Wouldn’t you know it, it’s incredibly tedious to do it all at once.
It’s surreal, taking care of children who complain about the exact same things I complained of. The only difference is that they’ve learned to complain about them out loud.
And it’s really, really annoying.
So I’d like to apologize to Mom for being, excuse my language, a little shit. Being a functional human being is better. You were right, Mom. Thanks.
Except about The Sims 2. That’s a great game and totally appropriate for someone over thirteen years of age.