The Perks of Modern Medicine (Like Not Being Dead)

I can’t feel half of my face right now, and I’m drooling and I might chew on my tongue if I’m not careful, but it’s all right because Modern Medicine did this to me and it’s supposed to happen this way. Not to worry.

I had another batch of tea-related cavities filled today, and as I lay on the reclining chair and played an invisible piano to stave off the boredom, I realized yet again how lucky I am to have Modern Medicine in my life. For a start, dentists can put a lot of horrifying looking instruments in my mouth and I won’t even feel it. Sure, there might be a lot of weird drilling sounds and the dentist might occasionally ask the assistant to pass the wood sander, but I can file away ‘screaming in agony’ as unneeded in this day and age.

Besides, without Modern Medicine I’d probably be dead already. Like from the time as a baby that I got an ungodly high fever (conveniently reduced by proper medication). Or the time when I cleverly fell out of a tree and smacked my head on a rock below, because everyone knows the best trees to climb are the ones with a considerable amount of boulders at the base.

And my mouth would most likely be an absolute mess, because without Modern Medicine not much could be done about the wisdom teeth that decided, for whatever reason, to grow in sideways. “This seems like the proper way to be growing,” they said, as they steadily impacted the other teeth. “I can’t think of any better direction to grow at all.”

When I caught Scarlet Fever this summer, too, I might’ve been snuffed from this earth before I’d even realized what all the spots meant. But thanks to Modern Medicine, one can just take a daily pill to get over an exotic Victorian illness.

And the thing is, I’m a pretty healthy person, which is a blessing. But before Modern Medicine, I’d be a healthy person right up until the point when I wasn’t any longer.

But even writing this all out hasn’t made me grateful for the very thorough numbness across my face (it’s been an hour and a half and it’s still not gone, what did they do, turn the setting on the injection up to “X-Treme”?!), so I’ll just go sulk for a while instead. But I’ll do it with all my teeth.

I hope you’re feeling healthy today.


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