The problem with being a live-in nanny is that you live with your employers and you take care of their very impressionable young children, so being a weirdo is frowned upon.
My employers already think I’m strange enough to begin with because of innocuous things such as when I left the house dressed as Colonel Mustard (complete with large bushy mustache and khaki short-shorts), so I’ve been keeping my weird side on the down-low for a while. And it’s a pity, because Halloween is approaching.
“I don’t really need to decorate for Halloween,” I thought to myself. “Halloween’s not that big a deal, and I’m an adult, more or less.”
And then I had an hour to kill yesterday, and I popped into the nearest Spirit Halloween store.
There’s something so magical about Spirit Halloween stores. They appear suddenly, with little warning. They feature seizure-inducing light sequences, never-ending mechanical screams, ridiculously over-priced, low quality products, and they smell like plastic and the death of employee sanity.
I love them to bits, presumably because I’ve never worked there.
Where else can I buy my knee highs featuring brains?
Walking around a Spirit Halloween store has the same effect on me as walking down a quiet, snowy road lit with Christmas lights. The spirit of Halloween was upon me. Who cared if everything there was hugely obnoxious?! Halloween!!
One of these days I will find reason to wear a fabulous witch hat 100% of the time.
Giddy, I left the store and crossed the street to Michael’s, where you can get slightly classier Halloween items for the same expensive price.
And a larger variety of bones.
I purchased some necessities. Some black candles. Some decorative jars. A skeletal cat. And then I went home, pulled out the black paper, and created some silhouette art.
Items needed: Black paper, pencil, scissors, tape, overly-milky tea.
There’s no way this is going to backfire on me in the middle of the night.
Replacing my cute flower fairy lights with cute little ravens in cages… lights.
Wait for it… wait for it…
Bam! Slightly more Gothic!
I tried my best to make the changes to my room subtle. I like the tasteful Halloweens better anyway; some elegantly witchy things over, you know, dead babies and what have you. And though my employers rarely if ever stray into my room, I didn’t need my charges spitting out a darling “Mommy, Miss Jean has a fully functional guillotine in her room, come see!”
I did, however, put some cashews in my “raven claws” bottle, for when said charges do slip into my room in search of a treat.
I’m hanging the spider webs on my bookcase now, and I feel a little better. One of these I’ll have my own place that I can destroy all on my own, but for the present, I can merely torture myself by trying to take down the spider webs again in 21 days.